← ArchiveProverbsSunday, August 7, 2016DateAugust 7, 2016Speaker—TextProverbs 14Passages in this sermonProverbs 141:04Proverbs 14:15:06Matthew 79:42Proverbs 2219:55John 1421:06Proverbs 1327:08Hebrews 1233:12TranscriptMachine transcribed. Click any line to jump there.0:00Thank you for joining us. If you have your Bible with you this morning, and I hope you do,0:30if not, grab your phone. Most of you have it on your electronic device also.1:00And turn to Proverbs chapter 14. As a church, we have spent our summer in Proverbs. We call this the summer of wisdom. And we pray that Lord will fill us with his wisdom, with his understanding this summer. And I love the picture that we see today of the death, burial, and resurrection, that the seven who were baptized about 10 minutes ago for the first time will get to embrace and1:24partake of the Lord's Supper as the body of Christ. What a wonderful picture that is to a world that needs to know Jesus. Proverbs 14, 1. And this morning we're going to look at wisdom for families. I didn't call it parenting because I know that many of you are not parents. And so you would check out. So this is wisdom for families. Wisdom for families. Mother Teresa said it this way. If you want to1:50change the world, go home and love your family. If you want to change the world, dads in particular, we have big dreams. Go home and love your family. And if you say, well, pastor, I'm single. Everyone has some family somewhere. Go home and love them and care for them. And that the world may2:18see our love for one another and glorify our father in heaven. Abraham Lincoln said this, all that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. I don't think he meant literally that his mom was an angel, but I think Abraham Lincoln felt the weight of the love his mom had for him and knew how much that a wise mom had poured into him and invested in his life. J.S. Byan said this, many men can make a2:47fortune, but very few can build a family. Many men can make a fortune, but very few can build a family. And we seek the Lord's guidance today. We want wisdom, but we don't want knowledge necessarily in of itself. Wisdom is this. It begins with the Lord. Proverbs says that the fear of the Lord is the3:15beginning of wisdom. So first, I just want to ask you, do you fear God? Because you can't be a good father unless the great father is known by you. You can't be the mom you should be unless you fear the Lord. You can't be a good family person. You can't be the neighbor that you should be unless you fear the Lord. So we pray for wisdom. We pray for understanding. We pray that Jesus Christ would3:41invade our lives this morning. Let's pray. Father, we come to you as families that we don't have it all figured out. And Lord, even if you gave us the manual to be a perfect family, Lord, we would still fail. So Father, we are here as people just admitting this morning, we are in need of your grace.4:07Lord, that we desire to fear you. That way you will fill us with wisdom. Lord, I pray for wisdom and understanding for families. Lord, for fathers that they be better fathers because they seek you. Lord, for moms that they are better mothers because they know of your grace. Lord, for children that they are better children because they follow you. Lord, that we are better neighbors and better families4:35because we find mercy at your throne. Lord, may we be people who builds. May we be people of discipline and may we be people who point others to the right path, the true path, the only name by which men can be saved, Jesus Christ. And we pray this in your son's name, in the name of Jesus. Amen and amen.4:59Well, let's look at Proverbs 14.1 today. Three verses is all we're going to look at. Three verses. Didn't say it's going to be a short sermon, just three verses. Verse 1, chapter 14. The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. This is not a verse5:20just for women, although it absolutely addresses specifically women. So I ask you, the first question God's word really hits us and confronts us with is this, are you a builder? Are you a builder? The wise woman does what? The wise woman builds, but the foolish pulls it down. So a wise parent,5:49a wise man, a wise woman builds their house. She contributes and builds a house that provides safety, security, emotional stability, love, communication, and more importantly, offers a spiritual environment for growth. And I just can't help but be amazed at all the young ones that were6:13baptized this morning. And almost every single one was because a parent poured into them spiritually. We had some children that at the beginning of this year, they came to us and said, I want to be baptized. And we just felt you might not be ready now. And we said to the parents, encourage those questions, push them to Jesus Christ, open your life up to them, tell them, dad, you're not perfect,6:40but the heavenly father forgives this earthly father. That way I can be saved. I love the picture of children coming to Christ because family said, we're going to build children for the kingdom. And we're not going to be worried about other peripheral issues. Are you a builder? The wise woman builds her house.7:00We find it here though, possibly in our lives that we can build up and tear down in the same moment or in the same house. And I don't think this is, this should slip our minds, but look at, look at the election right now. If you're wondering, wondering if I'm going to endorse any candidate from the pulpit, the answer is no. If you're wondering if I'm going to endorse any candidate from my house7:29in the privacy of my own home, the answer is probably no. But I don't think I can help, but know that these, this man and this woman, they did not get to the place where they were to be the nominee of their convention, unless they were builders in some way. And then now you look at what's going on in the radio waves and TV, what's going on now? Tearing down. So I think there's a natural fleshly response in us that we are naturally8:00gravitated to tear others down. Even if we know that's not the best way. Even if, if these candidates know they didn't get to where they were because they tore down others, but because they were builders. And yet we see even that they're the flesh coming out. And so for this person, this pastor, this Christian, when I see people in ugliness, I just want to turn away and8:27rinse my hands and say, good luck. You know, Casey, my wife, let's go buy our private islands. It will be missionaries in, I don't know, in our own little islands to our family, right? Because I'm, we're, I'm tired of people who do not want to build, but they want to tear down. And before we get too vocal though, how often do we as a church then tear others down and not build?8:51Because this naturally, our natural man says, hey, see that person that's successful? Well, they must've done something wrong or they must've cheated. How about say, Lord, thank you for making them successful. And Father, may they serve you with their wealth. Father, may they honor you with what they have. Why do we naturally gravitate to the people who pull apart as Proverbs 14.1 says,9:14because we are fleshly people living in a broken world. Are you a builder? But it's not enough to ask that question to answer it. Yes. Because we also have a tendency to build wrongly. And this is what Jesus Christ addresses here. Jesus says in Matthew 7, therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine, acts on them, will be like a sensible man who built his house.9:44But Jesus didn't end there. So Jesus is reminding us, hey, Proverbs says, be a builder, but it's not just enough to build with your hands because anything I build with my hands will be torn down by my hands. Jesus says, a sensible man builds his house upon the rock. Now, he didn't say a rocky foundation. He didn't say a mountain. He didn't say a rock of your choosing.10:14Build a house upon the rock. The rain fell. The rivers rose. The winds blew and pounded that house. And yet, you know what scripture says about that house that's built upon the rock? It did not collapse. Because his foundation was on the rock.10:40And the rock is Jesus Christ, the chief cornerstone. Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act upon them will be like a foolish man who built his house. So the Bible says, foolish people build, wise people build. Where is your foundation? The rain fell. The rivers rose. The winds blew and pounded that house. And it collapsed. And its collapse was great.11:08Here's my heart then for our church right now. When you build upon Jesus Christ, the storms of life have no answer. When you build your life upon the rock of Jesus Christ. Parents, hear when I say this. Because we have a tendency to build everything in our kids' lives that we think will make them successful.11:33I want to feed them right. So you can't eat macaroni and cheese every day for every meal. You can't have Ninja Turtle gummies for every meal, son. I mean, that's our house. You can't have 18 popsicles a day. Let's just do two. And you can't have the red ones because there's something in the red popsicles that make our house go crazy. So we want you to eat healthy.12:02And we want you to do well in school. And we want you to go to college, Lord willing, and get a good education. And we want to provide for you financially. And we want you to have a billion Ninja Turtle toys. We've counted. We have over 200. Some of you have contributed to that madness. And we thank you for that, by the way. He loves those. But if that's all that we give our kids, and he grows up one day to be president of the United States, and his rock is not Jesus Christ, when the storms come, his life will collapse.12:28But are you building your home and your family on Jesus? And you say, well, I want to, but pastor, I don't know how to do that. I just want to give you some simple help shortly in how we can do that. Give them a great home and financial security and watch the collapse.12:59Give them a great education and watch the collapse. Give them great vacations, tour the world, go to Disney World, watch the collapse. But give them Christ. Surround them and put them upon the rock. Watch them get baptized and hear them say, do you repent of your sins and trust Jesus Christ to give you forgiveness?13:23And hear them say yes and believe that and know that. And watch the storms come and watch them push into the Savior, that when the storms come and he's sleeping, Jesus is sleeping. Jesus gets up and rebukes the waves and says, be quiet. And watch the rock of Jesus Christ give them a sure foundation. Parents, families, are you a builder?13:53Are you a builder? And you've heard me say it again and again, if you're single, if you're not married, if you, if God has called you to singleness, and that is a gift from the Lord, by the way, you're a neighbor with your neighbors for a reason. Impart to them the scriptures, impart to them the word of God. But it's not enough just to build upon Jesus Christ. Look at verse one. We miss this in the English, but in the Hebrew it comes out. The wise women, plural, builds their house, is really how it should read.14:19But the foolish one pulls it down with her only hands. So this is what he, this is what the Hebrew in this verse is really saying. Wise men and women not only build upon the rock of Jesus Christ, wise men and women build together. Wise men and women build together. You say, well, pastor, what do you mean by that?14:48What does it mean to build? We're just going to all move into the same neighborhood, move into the same house? No, but Hebrews is very clear, 10, 25. Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together. That we are called as the body of Christ to be the body together. And this is where our American mindset struggles because we preach this and sometimes we teach this and we live this. Jesus died for you.15:17Jesus died for you, singular. So you come, you make a decision, and we automatically assume that when I come to Christ, and it's a solo effort. This is one of the largest lies that you can believe as a Christian. You are not designed or created to do it by yourself. This is why we feel it's so important even to have our children here on the first Sunday, that they can see their friends and they can see godly men and women put their faith in Christ and live in obedience.15:45Because together we encourage one another as the body of Jesus Christ. It is not a solo effort. And we have the greatest example in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Because our God is one, agreed, but he is three in one. He is father, he is son, and he indwells us with the Holy Spirit.16:12So if our God lives in community, perfect community with himself and his glory, what makes you think you can do it by yourself? We build together. Lord, help us not do it alone. The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her own hands. I love the word here, pulls it down.16:40The word in Hebrew, and it sounds a lot like the English, is harase. Some would pronounce it harass. And so parents specifically, I just want to ask you, do you harass your family? Do you harass your kids? You say, well, that's my job as a father to harass my child. No, I think we can do a disservice. Here, I believe spiritual harassment is this. Harassment is defined as aggressive pressure or intimidation.17:07Part of harassment and destruction is denying the daily grace that we are so freely given. I am firmly convinced in Scripture that if I do not live out the truth of Jesus in my home, I am harassing my family. If I say, well, my kids know that I pastor, they know I pray, they don't have to see it. My kids, my family knows that I read the Bible, I have to, that's my job.17:36They don't have to see it. No, how much more so does our family need us to drink freely from the grace of Jesus Christ and be open about that? Do not harass your family spiritually. And we live in an aggressive world. We live in a world that says, hey, work yourself to the bone, that when you come home, you don't have energy to give to your family. But it's for the best, right?18:05Oh, we bought into a lie. You know, you don't need others. Do it by yourself. Go build your house and put an alarm system on your house or the backyard and never come in the front yard. Always go through the backyard. Live your life by yourself. Don't get to know your neighbors. Actually, go buy a compound somewhere. And you just go to work and you come home. Do it by yourself. You know, go on Facebook and tear someone down.18:34They deserve it because they're living an ungodly life. They need your input. And how much we bought into the lie that we have decided to tear things down and not build for Jesus Christ in our life. Are you a builder? And here's the example that we have. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, didn't need to work. He's God. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. But our Savior chose an occupation.19:02Any guess on what our Savior chose? His Father was a carpenter and His Father apprenticed Him as a carpenter. I don't think it's a coincidence that Jesus Christ was a builder by trade. Because He designs us as Christians to build others up. Are you building? Are you encouraging? Do so for the glory of God. Wisdom for families, build. A wise person builds their house.19:30A foolish person pulls it apart with their hands. Secondly, wisdom in this way today for us. It comes from chapter 22, verse 6. And this is a verse many of you know well. It's probably a verse that some of you have in your home if you're a parent. Proverbs 22, 6 says, Families, we are to build, we are also to be people of wisdom who dedicate.19:57This word train can mean dedication. An obligation to train others for godliness. So what does it mean to train? The word is the same word that is used in the Bible to mean dedication.20:27So what things were dedicated? Houses. Even the temple to the Lord was dedicated. That's why we dedicate children here at this church. We bring families up and we'll have a dedication soon. Actually, we'll have several soon here. That families want to come and bring their child here on the altar. And look at you and look at the Lord and say, Father, hold us accountable to train, to dedicate this child for godliness.20:53Train up a child in what? The way. Sound familiar? What does Jesus say in John 14, 6? He says, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me, Jesus Christ says. It's no coincidence that the early Christians weren't called Christians. They were called followers of the way.21:21That's why Christ gives us the command, dedicate your children, train them in the way. Not a way, but the way. We have a duty to train. You know, we were watching the Olympics in our home yesterday. We love the Olympics. Watching people swim. Yeah, I love watching the Olympics because there are people that have given dedication that I just don't have the energy to do.21:50By the way, did you know there's an Olympic sport of air pistol shooting? I couldn't do swimming, but I could try that. So we should have a Bethel air pistol shooting team. But even in that, how much dedication does it take to be a world champion at that? Yeah, I've heard a lot of these interviews, and I have not heard this yet. Sir, you know, sir, you are the gold medalist at air pistol shooting.22:18How did you get that proficient at your sport? I haven't heard a single person say, you know what? I just showed up here. You know, I just went to Walmart and bought one for $10, and they let me in the Olympics. Well, why would that be foolish to us? Because being solid at your sport takes dedication and training.22:47And so if the Olympics are that important, how much more important is our eternity? So how much more should we train intentionally for godliness? So how do we do that? Parents, are you teaching your family? And what are you teaching your family with your mouth? Gather regularly to hear and speak God's word.23:17Are you teaching with your mouth? And then what are you teaching? Are you teaching a work ethic, an education, religion, or a church? Are you teaching them the gospel, the saving gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ, that he died to save sinners? And then parents, it's about to get deep here. Not only what are you speaking with your mouth, but what are you living with your life? Because training with godliness, if I live a life that I tell my kids, do this, do this, do this, do this, and they see me do something else,23:47they're going to look at me and say, either you're speaking incorrectly or you're living incorrectly, but one of those is a lie. And may I not misrepresent Jesus Christ. And here's wisdom in training for godliness is, parents, if you fail, if you stumble in front of your kids, don't hide that.24:10But show them what forgiveness is. If you've been rash and you've punished your child and they didn't deserve the harshness of your punishment, it's okay to say, you know what, son, I was mad at you because you hit your sister again. But I shouldn't have reacted like I did, I'm sorry. You're still going to be punished for it, don't get me wrong. But I want you to know I reacted out of anger, and anger does not bring about the righteousness that our heavenly father desires.24:40That is training for righteousness. Train up a child in the way he should go. When he is old, he will not depart. Some of you have claimed this verse for yourself, and I know there's heartbreak in this room because I know many of you will. Some of you right now have families and kids that are just, that are wayward. And you are clinging to this verse, and you say, God, I have trained them, and yet they have gone in a way they should not.25:06Lord, they have departed this. I don't think this proverb should be used as a sledgehammer to hurt and to convict and to cause shame in your life. And parents, if your child or children are seeking the Lord, I don't think this should be a source of arrogance that you walk around and be like, you know what? My kids, look at them.25:36Look what I did. Because the Bible is very clear. We each have a moral responsibility in our lives to put our faith in Christ. No matter what we've been taught, my job as a father, not a pastor, my job as a father is to impart the wisdom of Jesus to my children. But it is their obligation one day to put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ. If I could save them, if I could baptize them and give them salvation, if I could do anything to give them salvation, I would.26:03That's my heart as a father, but I cannot. But we can train them. So parents, if you are struggling because your child is wayward, pray for them and know this. If you have given them Jesus, nothing can take that away. And if they have put their faith in Christ, they might be wayward. But God is still speaking.26:32God is still convicting. God is still moving. And pray this prayer. God, drive them crazy until they come to repentance. God, do not leave them alone. God, be the hound of heaven. God, I've trained them. I think this proverb is the twig bender principle, that you bend your children to the Lord, that they will grow in that way. Teach them the way. Build upon the rock. Families, wise families dedicate their children.27:03And lastly, this. Proverbs 13. Some of you parents have been waiting for this verse. Here it is. Proverbs 13, 24. I would be remiss if I didn't read this verse on wisdom in families. He who spares his rod hates his son. He who loves him disciplines him promptly.27:31Listen to the clarity and the specificity of these words. He who spares his rod hates him. Hates him. Not spoils. Hates. But he who loves him disciplines him promptly, quickly. Now you might be saying, so pastor, are you telling me I can just whoop my kid? Let me say this.28:02This verse gives you no right to abuse your child ever. And if you have aggressively disciplined your child out of anger, that is not from the Lord. That is from your flesh. You need to repent of that. But it is very clear also, verse 24, that this is a physical instrument of discipline. So take that as you want. If you say, well, I'm not going to spank my kid. I'm going to discipline them in this way.28:31Good. But there has to be discipline. You have no option as a Christian. And for you who say, well, I'm just going to spank my kid until they conform. If that's all you do, you're not disciplining them. You are acting aggressively. So we discipline them in a way that imparts the grace of Jesus Christ. This proverb has several assumptions, and I want to go over these. The first is this, and this is something we've lost in our society.29:01The home is the basic social unit for transforming values. The home is the basic unit for transforming values. Listen to me, parents, church is not the basic fundamental unit of society in biblical understanding. Education, school, it's not the teacher's job to discipline your children. Parents, it is your job as the family to honor the Lord.29:29The family is the most basic unit that God has given us to transform the world. Why is the family under attack? Because if we can split families, if we can raise children without fathers, and children without mothers, and children without family together, and children without godly moms and dads who seek the Lord, then we can disrupt society.29:58May it never be on our watch. The family is the basic unit of godliness. Another assumption is this. Parents have absolute values, not merely valuations. Parents, if you have Jesus Christ, if you have God's word, you aren't giving your children a good thing. You're giving them the truth and what they need for godliness. Don't err in that.30:28We don't just give them our evaluations. We give them a life-changing truth of Jesus. We also see this in verse 24. He who spares his rod hates his son. The assumption in the Bible is this. Parents, I want you to turn your listening ears on. The basic assumption of the Bible for our kids is that at the heart of every child is folly.30:52That folly is at the heart of our children. I know we have many educators. My wife is one. And it amazes me that educators can call home and say, Mr. Burnham, I just want you to know that your son did this in class. And our response as parents are, oh, no, not my son, not my children. You laugh, but you will be amazed how often that happens.31:22That is not a biblical worldview. And maybe I'm wrong in this because I go overboard. If a teacher calls me up and says, hey, Eli did this, my basic assumption is you're not telling me anything. Join the club, right? But why are we in a world that wants to think that our kids are morally good? Because we don't want to look our sin in the face. Because if I can say my kids are good and my kids are perfect, then maybe something can say I'm perfect.31:50And I don't have to look my Savior in the face. And he says, Josh, you have fallen short of my glory. And I have to say, Lord, you're right. I need to repent. Biblical assumption is this. We are people of folly and Jesus Christ saves us. Another biblical assumption is this. It will take more than just words to mold a child. It will take more than just words to mold a child.32:20He who spares his rod hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. So what does discipline look like? It comes from a 15th century word meaning mortification by scourging oneself. Parents, don't go home and mortify your kids by scourging them. But it does mean that we temporarily, we withhold our desire for long-term gain. That people in Christ, not only should we discipline our children, but we need to be people who say, Lord, discipline me that I may be called a child of you.32:52So parents, are you disciplining your children? What does that look like biblically? It looks like this. Hebrews 12 says, endure suffering as discipline. God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline?33:20What son is there that a father does not discipline? God's word says that we as children of the most high God need discipline in our lives. That Hebrews is, God is dealing with you as sons, endure the discipline. That the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punishes every son that he receives. Families today, do you have wisdom in the Lord?33:48Oh, that we may be people who builds. That we say, God, give us your grace that we may build others up. Fathers, daily, read God's word to your families. Pray with your families. Neighbors, open up your homes to your neighbors that we may build for his kingdom. Not tear down. That we may be people who discipline ourselves for the sake of the kingdom. And that we may be people who dedicate our homes.34:16And we say, world, we're going to dedicate our families. We're going to train them in godliness. That when they are old, they will not depart from the way. The way of Jesus Christ. The way that gives truth and understanding. The way that gives salvation. Maybe you're here today and you say, well, I don't like discipline. And I don't want God to work in me and disciplining in me. Maybe you're here today and as I've been preaching, as God's word has been read,34:43you have been very uncomfortable because you're living in a way that is not godly. I just want to say this. First, I'm not convicting you. That's the Holy Spirit. And I'm thankful for that conviction. And I pray that guilt will lead to repentance and that your repentance will lead to your salvation in Jesus Christ. And know this, if God is disciplining you right now, that even in that, God is speaking to you.35:08Think about that. We don't deserve for the Lord to speak to us. And yet, even when I'm in sin, God loves me enough to say, Josh, you shouldn't do that. And Josh, not only should you not do that, but I'm going to work in your life in a way that I'm going to create pain, that you won't do that and that you will look more like Jesus Christ. May you hear God's voice this morning and know that God so loved you that he sent his only son.35:36That whoever believes, whether they are taller than me or shorter than me, whether they're seven or 77, as we've seen today, that you're not too old or too young, too good or too bad to be beyond the grace of Jesus Christ. And so have you given your life to Christ? You can do that right where you sit.36:07We're going to have a time of invitation. I'm going to invite our praise team up. If you have not given your heart to Christ, if you've not repented, the Bible says repentance is to turn away from your sin. Die to my sin. I am raised in new life in Jesus Christ. If you have not done that, what are you waiting for? Because without repentance, there is no salvation. Without the death of Jesus Christ, there is no salvation. Thank God that he loves sinners such as us.36:36If you have not responded to God, won't you? You say, oh, pastor, I'm not comfortable. I don't know what to do. You can just take that response card in front of you, that green card, fill it out, mark it, and we will come to you. We have counselors. I would love to just speak to you, to pour my life into you and say, this is what it means to follow Jesus. Families, we need wisdom. And the only way we find wisdom is in Jesus. Do not depart from the scriptures. Be builders.37:06Be builders. Build for his kingdom. Dedicate your family and discipline them. God, discipline me that we might seek Christ together. Let's pray. Father.← Previous in ProverbsSunday, July 31, 2016Next in Proverbs →Sunday, August 14, 2016More sermons on Proverbs →