← ArchiveSolid GroundSolid Ground – Parentology 101 (2:41-52)DateAugust 21, 2022SpeakerDr Josh BurnhamText—Passages in this sermonLuke 24:01Luke 2:5–24:41Luke 2:415:53John 1932:55John 19:2533:04TranscriptMachine transcribed. Click any line to jump there.0:00*music*0:30*music*1:00Welcome to the church at Bethel, where we gather for one reason, and one reason alone. We call that the gospel, a euangelion in Greek, right? The good news. And the good news can be summed up in this phrase. Every adult can understand this, and every child can understand this. Jesus in our place. That's why we gather, because it's a reminder and it's a mirror of our gratitude for what Jesus has done for us. If you're new here, and I've already met some new families here this morning. I don't know your names. I forgot. You told me your names. I forgot. I'm sorry.1:27If you're watching online, we simply want to welcome you, and we're going to do that with our applause to our Savior in your presence. So, church, let's let them know how thankful we are.1:49* schlimmer* So, if you're new, this doesn't apply to you, but welcome aboard. In Easter, we had a survey, and we asked our church, "What do you want us to speak into biblically?" And so, this message is part of that series, Solid Ground. These are answers to your questions.2:11And one of the top three questions that everyone had in this place is this: "How do we raise a tiny human?" Well, you didn't ask it like that. You said, "How can we lead our families in the graces of Jesus Christ?" Now, let me acknowledge, as we begin, the elephant in the room. Some of you right now are going to say, "Well, I'm not a parent."2:33I am completely muting you for the next 30 minutes. But this is what we know. Although the eternal accountability will differ, these eternal truths from the Word of God still apply to your grandkids. They apply to your co-workers. And they apply wherever Yahweh gives you influence.2:59So, if you are breathing today, this message has a place in your life because God has put you in the life of someone else that they might know the love of their Savior. This is called parentology, but it's really how we live and model Jesus in our homes. Now, you're going to find it very difficult to find a passage of Scripture that deals with Christ-like parenting to Jesus Himself.3:28There are very few, if any, passages that deal with the young boy Jesus. I would argue that the narrative and the journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem was pre-birth. He wasn't being raised yet. So, where can we go to find out about Jesus' adolescence?3:56There's only one passage, and that's Luke chapter 2. So, if you have your Bibles, if you would turn to the Gospel of Luke with me. Matthew, Mark, Luke, Luke chapter 2. And as you find your way there, this entire passage concludes with this summary. A beautiful passage. Pastor Benny knows it well because it's the only verse that speaks to Jesus as a student.4:22Pastor Benny is our student pastor. It says that Jesus grew in wisdom and in statue physically and in favor with God and with man. And Luke 2:5-2. The Lord used Mary and Joseph to shape Jesus' life and to grow this young Messiah.4:44And if you're a parent or a grandparent in the room or you're listening online, God has given you the same beautiful opportunity and eternal weight. God is using you to shape your family for eternity. So, this is not going to be here's 10 steps to be a better parent.5:12This is the theology of who God has asked you to be in front of your children, in front of your grandparents, in front of your neighbors, and in front of your co-workers. And if you don't have any of those, when you go to the store in front of the marketplace, God desires you to live out your faith. And I am simply a person that believes if Jesus can grow, you can too.5:39Right? If Jesus can grow, listen, there's hope for our children. And that is what the Word says to us today. So, Luke 2:41, Parentology 101. "Every year his parents," now that's Jesus, right? "Jesus' parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover festival.6:06When he was 12 years old, they went up according to the custom of the festival. After those days were over, they were returning. The boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem." So, let me stop there and say they didn't lose Jesus. He chose to remain behind. "But his parents did not know it. Assuming he was in the traveling party, they went a day's journey. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and their friends.6:35When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for Jesus. After three days..." Three days, y'all. Three days. "They found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. All those who heard Jesus were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished too."7:02Different word, by the way. "And his mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? You know your father and I have been searching for you for three days." "Why were you searching for me?" Jesus asked them, "Did you not know that it was necessary for me to be in my father's house?"7:26But they did not understand what he said to them. "Then Jesus went down with them and came to Nazareth and he was obedient to them. And his mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and with people." Let's ask the Lord to bless our time in the reading of his word.7:54"Father, the grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our Lord will last forever." And Father, there are parents among us today. There are parents who are listening that are, Lord, in a moment of darkness. And Lord, they need hope. Father, there are parents that feel like they have failed their family forever. Lord, they need your encouragement.8:22Lord, there are families in the throes of difficulty. And there are families that this is the best day of their life. But Lord, no matter where we are, would we submit our lives to you and find that you are the one who leads us by streams of still waters. Lord, help us model Jesus Christ in our homes that you might be glorified and that we might enjoy you forever.8:43Lord, help us see you clearly, we ask in Jesus' name. Amen. So as we begin this message on parenting, let me remind you of this. "No matter how bad you feel like you have failed as a parent, you did not lose the Son of God."9:04It could be worse. That's good news, right? For three days. So with that, let's look back at verse 41. "Every year his parents traveled to Jerusalem." The first thing that we need to understand biblically about parenting: Your child needs, your neighbor needs, your grandchild needs a righteous person living in the home.9:31Your child needs a righteous parent. Verse 41, "How often did Mary and Joseph go to Jerusalem?" Very first word. Every year. Was there a year of Jesus' life where they did not go? No. They modeled Christ-likeness.9:59They modeled a devotion to the Lord every year. And actually, it was more than that because Passover was one of the three major festivals. Passover and then Pentecost, 50 days later, the end gathering. And then towards the end of the year, towards the fall harvest, you had the Feast of Booths. They knew that they would travel during these moments because they were modeling before the young Messiah what devotion to God looked like.10:21You might need to know that women were not required to go to Jerusalem. That was only an obligation given to the men. So what does that tell us about Mary's devotion? She didn't go because she had to. She went because she wanted to. Because Jesus needed righteous parents living in his home.10:48And if Jesus needed that and God wanted that model to Christ, how much more do we need that? You see, for Mary and Joseph, this was not ceremonial observance. The faith of Mary and Joseph was personal. It was authentic. And I believe with all my heart that if you're a parent here today, your genuine faith lived out in the home is better than any sermon that your child will ever hear.11:13Your faith lived out daily before your family is the greatest testimony and the greatest crusade that your child will ever see in their life. So let me ask you, does your son see your genuine faith?11:40Does your son see that in your life? Does your daughter, does she know your heart for the Savior? May we not be content to say, oh, they know. We need to share and show that we are Christ followers. I don't want to die one day and at my casket, my son or daughter are asking questions.12:05Well, we think he loved Jesus. We know he went to church, but he never shared. He never told. He never showed. Your son and your daughter need righteous parents. Will we live out our faith before our children? Not only was the faith of Joseph a righteous faith, but it was a regular faith.12:30Not only did they go, but they went how often? We've already seen that. Every year it was a regular faith. Now, for a conviction to really take root and for conviction to make a difference, we have to live out a faith routine in our lives. It's not enough for us to say we love Jesus. I was able to meet with three young men who are going to get baptized next week.12:59And I asked them about their confession of faith. And they shared. And I told them, listen, your confession is not a one-time decision. It is a lifetime of pursuit for Jesus Christ before the world. Faith must be regular. And we get this, don't we? We know that there's a reason that we eat daily. Because when we eat regularly, it helps us fend off the effects of malnutrition.13:30And some of you have fought your children to death over that. And you've gone to blows over things like broccoli. And cabbage. And you've seen tears shed over lima beans. Why do you do that? Because you know that nutrition is worth a fight.13:57And that regular, daily habits of eating is good for the body. Church, how much more so is regular patterns of prayer and worship and devotion and generosity and sacrifice and Sabbath, how much more is that needed in our lives spiritually? If Jesus needed this at the home every year,14:25how often do your children and your grandchildren and your coworkers need regular patterns of worship in their lives? The tallest trees on the planet are found on the west coast in California. It's the redwoods. These massive trees can reach up to 400 feet tall. Okay, let me try that again. So when I say this, I want you to go,14:55I'm serious. The tallest trees in the world on the west coast. And they can reach heights up to 400 feet tall. But did you know that these trees only grow three feet a year? Kind of like Debbie Downer, isn't it? That's it? But what do these redwoods show us?15:25That if you grow consistently and daily and weekly and yearly, you will look back at your life and say, God, look how tall. God, look at the favor. Never underestimate the power of consistent holiness lived out in front of your child. Never underestimate that. You think, well, that's not, that's not novel.15:52We were expecting 10 tips and a poem and boom, perfect parents. But we underestimate sometimes the greatest needs in our life. Your child doesn't need a magic act. They need you to consistently and rhythmically live out holiness in front of them. And one day they're going to look back and say, Mom and Dad were redwoods. They grew daily.16:21And when the winds blew and the rains came, they stood fast. Because they had a solid foundation. Your child needs righteous parents in the home. Not only was the righteous faith of Mary and Joseph authentic and routine, it was also highly practical. They actually literally had to leave Nazareth and journey the 80 miles to Jerusalem. This wasn't a hypothetical faith.16:50They didn't talk about it. They practiced it visibly in front of their family. And then this wasn't an easy trip, was it? Was it inconvenient to go to Jerusalem? I would imagine so. Traveling 20 miles a day, this is a three to four day journey. By foot. Or camel. Or donkey. Can you imagine how many times in this pack in this village from Nazareth that some child at some point looked at their parent and said,17:15We've been walking for 20 miles. Are we there yet? Faith is practical. And it must be practiced. And what Mary and Joseph remind us about righteous living. Parents, you will ultimately do what you love. And you will eventually love what you do.17:43They journeyed to Jerusalem. They journeyed to Jerusalem. And if we continually forsake the gathering of the sacred assembly, we are subconsciously telling our children it's inconvenient. Let's just not do it today. Mary and Joseph could have easily said, Jesus, you're 11. We'll get to it next year. When you're 12, when you're almost a man, it's not convenient. There's harvest there. There's things to do at home. We don't have time to go to Jerusalem.18:11And in so doing, they would have subconsciously told Jesus, Jesus, there are more important things right now than worshiping your heavenly Father. Parent, may we not be models who say we will worship when it's convenient. But may we practice our faith in every moment of our life. Our families need this.18:39John James once said this way. Let your children have this conviction in their heart. If there are but two real Christians in the world, may they say that my father is one and my mother is the other. We need to practice our faith. It is worth it. It is worth it. Your child needs a righteous parent. But not only that, your child needs a responsible parent. Now I know what you're going to say.19:08How can they be responsible? They lost Jesus. Like the Son of God. The one from whom the whole salvation of the entire world depends upon his life, his death, and his resurrection. They lost the Son of God. How can they be responsible?19:36Well, first, they didn't lose Jesus. He stayed behind in verse 43. He consciously chose not to venture with them. Now before we're too difficult to Joseph and Mary know that the entire village of Nazareth would have traveled together. So they probably thought that he was with an aunt or an uncle or a neighbor. And this journey would have taken four days likely. So they probably would have actually been out of Jerusalem for one day.20:03And as they were camping for the night, they probably said, okay, we need to give the neighbors a break. Jesus, time to come in. Hey, Moses, do you have Jesus? No, Moses doesn't have it. Hey, Abraham. Abraham, do you have? No. Uh-oh. Moshe, have you seen Jesus? And then they realize this is how it happened, I'm sure. Mary looked at Joseph and said, that was your responsibility.20:30You had one job and you lost God's son. Go back and find him. And so they probably camped that night and they journeyed another day, second day. And then they're in Jerusalem and they find him on the third day. How can they be responsible? But may we not forget that they are traveling to Nazareth and Mary and Joseph stopped the travels. They stopped the caravan and they go back.20:58They take responsibility for finding what God had entrusted upon them. They took the responsibility to care for Jesus and his physical needs. They took it personally. And parents, we need to be people who take God's responsibility in our life with an eternal weight and eternal glory. And it's a reminder here that your children need more than your financial provisions.21:26Responsibility and care and nurture is so much more than material things. I can prove it to you. Recent studies show that 40% of 12 to 18 year olds from affluent families in America. And you say, well, what is that? These are families who have a household income over $120,000 a year.21:51Do you think, oh, they're doing well, right? 40% of these families have teens that experience disturbing psychological symptoms. Suicide ideation, cutting, depression, anxiety disorders, and substance abuse. It's a reminder that you can make all the money in the world and that does not allow you to remain absent from your family.22:14Our homes need responsible parents where we take the holy obligation to care for someone. And to love our children unto the Lord. So when his parents find him, he's at the temple the entire time listening to teachers and he's asking them questions.22:37Why did Jesus ask these rabbis questions? Now, I know you're going to say, well, he's Jesus. That's what he does. But Jesus is also a boy and he's still growing in wisdom and statue in favor with God and man. How did Jesus, why is he hungering and thirsting for righteousness? I believe that Jesus grew up in a home that was filled with gospel conversation.23:09I believe Jesus grew up in a home where Mary and Joseph are constantly asking him questions and he's hearing them invest in this young boy spiritually. Parents, you are the chief spiritual communication officer in your home. I believe Jesus knew to ask and answer spiritual questions because he heard his mom and his dad asking and doing that.23:35Do you have open communication at home? Do your, does your son and your daughter hear you talking about Jesus, talking about your faith, talking about the word? Do they feel like they could ask you a spiritual question even if you don't speak about it daily? Is there open communication where your son or your daughter or your teenager feel like they could come to you?24:02Could your neighbor come to you and ask gospel centered questions? This is why, for this reason, this is why we send out family devotions every Monday in your email inbox. And if you don't get those, please sign up for our email. You can connect with us online, Bethelnet.com. We want to make it easy for you to have gospel conversations in the home. That's your responsibility. That's why we give you a Bible reading plan.24:31You say, well, I don't know how to read the Bible. Open 1 Timothy. That's this week. Read the Bible with, even if you had to force your family to sit down. You forced them to eat lima beans. It's not, it didn't kill them. How much more is it important to say this is what is good for our soul? Sit down. Let's read about Jesus. That's what our home looks like. That's what our home looks like. But it's so vital.25:01And I would just tell you when we gather, there are times where it is not convenient to open the Bible in our home. And there are times where our son or our daughter begins to ask questions. And I just think, God, you know better than we do, but Lord, it's worth it. May we be homes where we take our responsibility seriously to be the chief spiritual communication officers. And if you don't know how to do that, we want to partner with families to grow you in righteousness.25:26You are not doing this by yourself. Read the Bible at home and watch the Holy Spirit work. Verse 48. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, which really meant upset. It's not the same word as astonishment of the crowds. And his mother said to him, Son, why have you treated us like this?25:55Right here's the father. Your father lost you and I have been anxiously searching for you. That's my paraphrase. That's the Josh practical standard version. But they find him in the temple. Why did Jesus know where to go? Because he lived in a home where going into the house and the presence of the Lord was comfortable.26:23I think he was as comfortable in the temple as he was at home because he knew the presence of God was at home and the presence of the Lord was in this place. And he wanted to be in the presence of his heavenly father. And that was a responsibility that was modeled from home. Parents, you are the chief worship leader for your house.26:51That is not my job. I will do my best to help you. But one day you will appear before God and you are responsible for your house. Will you take responsibility to be the chief worship leader? And let me say a word of caution that I see in our culture. I am seeing an epidemic among families in our area where the child or the teenager is allowed to choose the church,27:14to choose the worship service, to choose the friend group, the worship venue, or really where our children dictate our seasons and our rhythms of worship. That is not good for your family. Parent, that is your job. And I want to share with you. And I want to share with you, I can't share names, but I will share with you stories of parents who have come up to me and they weep.27:40Because they look back at their life and they say, I didn't fight the battle when they were five. And I didn't fight the battle when they were in fifth grade. And I didn't fight the battle when they were driving. And they weep of tears because they realize they've lost the time. May it never be said of us that we have forced or allowed our children to lead us in worship. May we be moms and dads who lead our families well.28:10Even when it's inconvenient. Take the spiritual responsibility personally to lead your family well. And not only has God told you to do that, he has equipped you to do that. He will not leave you alone. He has given you his spirit. Our families need righteous parents. They need responsible parents.28:39But they also need reflective parents. Look at verse 51. Actually, we'll back up to 49. This is Jesus' response to Mary. Mary said, "Son, why have you treated us like this?" In verse 49, Jesus says, "Why were you searching for me?" "Did you not know that it was necessary for me to be in my father's house?"29:07And at that point, I would have said, "Your dad and I brought you into this world." And you are going to your father's house. But Mary did not respond that way. In fact, the scripture says they did not understand what he said to them. And it says in verse 51 that Mary kept all of these things in her heart.29:31Our families need parents who are reflective. Reflective, not reactive. Because some of us in this moment, as even I'm reading this, I'm thinking I would have told Jesus why we were searching for him. You were in your father's house. You should have been with your dad.30:01It was dad's responsibility to Joseph. But Mary chose not to react out of the flesh. She chose to treasure these things in her heart. The plural indicates that she took note of these events and did not take unkindly to the response of Jesus, but she reflected upon it. Your son and your daughter and your grandkids need a parent who reflects, not a parent who lives because they react.30:30And that is only a patience that the Word of God and the Spirit of God can produce in your life. That's what our families need. That's what our families need. Parent, there will be times where you speak wrongly to your children.30:53And let me not say this and think that your child is perfect because there will be times in your life or have been times where your son or your daughter will say disgusting things to you. And in that moment, I beg you, before you react, listen to their heart before you listen to their words and then discipline them with a godliness and a holiness that they need.31:14They need to act out of the flesh to a fleshly, ungodly response. Our families need reflective parents. But there will be times where you speak wrongly. So I believe parents are the chief repentance officers in the home.31:42When you do wrong, when you mess up, your family needs to see you repent. How can our sons and our daughters, how can they apologize? How can they repent for sin if they never hear the words, I'm sorry, from our mouths? And studies will show this. If you have a teenager, they will not speak to you if they see you unwilling to repent of your mistakes.32:07If you want to open communication in your home, be the chief repentance officer. Paul Tripp says that rather than seeking to get our teenagers under our control, if that's possible, we want to be used of God so that they would joyfully submit to the Lord.32:35Mom, Dad, you are the chief repentance officer in the home. Be reflective, not reactive. Lastly, another R. Your child needs a relentless parent. A relentless parent. Not found necessarily in Luke 2, but found in John 19. There's one more aspect of Jesus' life I need to share. John 19:25 says this,33:04The standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, his mother's sister, Mary, the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple that he loved standing there, he said to his mother, Listen, here is your son. And he said to his disciple, here is your mother. And from that hour, the disciple took her into his home.33:32During the last breaths of the Messiah, Mary was standing near the cross. Mary reminds us that even your adult child needs you to be relentlessly loyal, relentlessly present and relentlessly devoted to the Lord. It's the reminder spiritually that when you are tired, don't give up.33:59When you are weary, don't give in. When worship is a battle, don't grow passive. When your child wanders away, never give up on them. May we be like the father in the prodigal son story.34:25Who's waiting at the road when the son returns. Relentlessly faithful. Relentlessly loyal. Would you be a parent today that commits like Mary? Even on my son's darkest day, I will be by his side. I will never give up.34:54You see, your son and daughter do not need you to love them because they do good things. Because they make good grades. Because they win participation trophies on the ball fields. That one day will collect dust. They don't need you to love them because of what they do. They need you to love them because of who they are. That's the gospel.35:22Jesus doesn't love you because of what you do. He loves you because of what he did on your behalf. And if you've never experienced the love of your Heavenly Father like that, would you turn from your sin and turn to God today? Would you say, God, I leave my sin behind and I trust Jesus as my Savior. And you know what he says when you pray that prayer of authentic faith? God's response to you is, Josh, I don't love you because of what you do.35:51I love you because Jesus took your place. And he forgives you of your sins. And he gives you abundant life. Josh, of course I will forgive you. Because Jesus made the way. That's the love that we need, church. God doesn't love you because of what you do. He doesn't love you because you came to church today. He loves you because Jesus took your place and made you whole.36:19If you're here today and listening online and you're a weary parent, would you find rest for your soul in this moment? If you're a prodigal parent and you're weeping and this is a harsh and bitter sermon for you because you have a son or daughter who has walked away from the faith,36:46would you weep tears of repentance over them today? Never give up. Stand by the door and watch and wait because God hasn't given up on them. And God hasn't given up on you. Weep for the day of repentance. Maybe you've been the absent parent. Maybe you have killed yourself providing homes and cars and four-wheelers and trips.37:12But you're not there physically. Would you ask God to change your perspective? And to know that your son and your family, they need your presence more than they need your checkbook. Are you the failed parent? And you are the one who has been weeping over your life. And you look back and you say, God, I failed in this way.37:42God, when my son said those dirty things, my daughter looked at me and said she hated me. You know, I just said, I hate you too. And God, I reacted and I didn't reflect on your mercy in my life. God can forgive you and he will. And even your failure as a parent doesn't take the Lord by surprise. There's grace to meet you in your need.38:07And then there's some here that maybe you're the son or daughter who has come to faith and your parents lived an ungodly life and your parents don't know Jesus. Maybe this moment is the day where you need to pray for their salvation again. Where you weep for them and you say, God, I didn't have what Jesus had at the home. I didn't have a Joseph and a Mary who are going to the presence of the Father.38:35They didn't bring me to the temple. They didn't bring me to the word. I didn't know anything about you, Father, from my parents. But you can pray for them. And why not today? Why not today is the day of their salvation? That is why you are here. To be the intercessor of their soul. That we could celebrate today the gospel.39:05I don't know about you, but I look at my life and think there are so many ways that we fail. And in every shortcoming, His grace is sufficient. Be a righteous parent. A responsible parent. A relentless parent. For the glory of our Heavenly Father. Lord Jesus,← Previous in Solid GroundSolid Ground – Heaven (Luke 16:19-27 and Revelation 6:9-11)Next in Solid Ground →Solid Ground (Acts 6:1-7)
